Monday, April 15, 2013

Walking the Unknown Road

For those of you following my journey as a heart momma, things are moving along just fine. We're in our final countdown (cue the magical entrance of Gob Bluth if you're an Arrested Development fan) until the moment we get to meet our precious little one and see what plans God has for us. At this point, I'm not taking the doctors' words too much to heart, because I know God knows more than even the best people in the medical field. I believe that doctors can only go by what they see now and what they've seen or studied about past cases, so they have a limited viewpoint. God, on the other hand, sees everything and knows for sure what's going to happen, not just what has the most likelihood of happening. At the same time, it's really hard to sit there in office after office, being told about scary surgical procedures and the risks that come with them, and all sorts of statistics that aren't nearly as comforting as I'd like them to be. I understand that this path might not be as full of rainbows and daisies as I'd like, but I believe that God is leading us to the place that will bring Him the most glory. It's not my job to be in control or to understand, but it's my job to trust that He does.



I also want to say that no matter what happens--good or bad, miraculous or not--I have absolutely no regrets about this baby or this pregnancy. When we were first given the CHD diagnosis, the option of "termination" (aka killing our baby because it wasn't perfect enough) was presented to us. I know that some people choose that option, because it's easier, less expensive, or--as some try to argue--more humane than risking any suffering on the baby's part. I disagree. I know this baby deserves every chance at survival, and I will not stop fighting as hard as I can to make that happen. Whether this baby lives a long healthy life or a short painful one, this baby has a purpose. This baby's life has been so precious already, and I can't imagine making the choice to intentionally cut it shorter than God intended. I don't know where this road will lead us, but I can rest in the knowledge that our baby has been loved and wanted for every single moment of his or her existence. And while my motherly heart is nearly bursting at the seams with love for my little one, I know that God loves him or her even more than I ever could.

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the Eternal Rock.   Isaiah 26:3&4



2 comments:

  1. As Mom/Grammy...I am so proud that God entrusted this little life to you and Steve. He chose the very best on earth to love His child. I love you, both! Mom B.

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  2. For as long as I can remember, when we spoke of having children, you always wanted 3. God knows the desires of your heart. "May He grant you according to your heart's desire, and fulfill all your purpose. We will rejoice in your salvation, and in the name of our God we will set up our banners!" Psalm 20:4-5

    "Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." Psalm 37: 4-5

    I am praying for you all! Love, Christy

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